'Being who we are begins with where are.'
Where am I? I'm in an apartment that I no longer live in. I'm sitting in a bath, still hot enough after an hour to produce steam. I have a couple of beers in me, and what I'm looking at is the steam as it swirls around my breath.
'Being where we are is easy when the experience is pleasant.'
I'm in this apartment, because I've loved living in this apartment. When I moved in here, I felt "at home" for the first time since 1999. To say that I look forward to what comes next does not mean I'm happily abandoning what's been. It HAS been easy to be here. Jenn and Josh and I watched TV, played video games, BS'ed. In the new place, the only time I've felt comfortable is when we broke out the N64 and played Mario Kart. I've become accustomed to the sedimentary lifestyle, like I was in Tennessee. As the subject of my last entry said: 'back to the drawing board.'
'When we encounter adverse circumstances, we often take the situation personally, and we lose confidence and faith in ourselves. Yet, when we can work with unfavorable circumstances, that is the very time when the quality of our life as a path, rather than a fixed destination, can manifest.'
In Fear and Trembling, Kierkegaard observed, "Ever since the Creation it has been accepted practice for the outcome to come last; if anyone is really to learn something from the great it is precisely the beginning one must attend to." This is the beginning. It is not what it is becoming, it is what it is. It is where I am.
