Nathaniel's wedding was great. I don't know if I could count on two hands the number of friends' weddings I have missed, so I'm very happy when I manage to attend one. And this was a pretty crazy wedding. The bridal party consisted of over thirty people and, for the reception, they had all learned a dance choreographed by Carmen (the bride)'s niece. It was impressive. And of course, it's going to get loud and fun, when everyone celebrating the marriage is a Mexican, a Native American, or a New York Jew. Lots of great (I'm sorry, I meant GREAT) food, lots of drinking, lots of dancing.
Carmen was beautiful and happy, and Nate looked sharp as hell (and also happy). Their kids were adorable/gorgeous/handsome. John Bob was the photographer, so there should be some great evidence of this floating around soon.
For whatever reason, there were two sheriff's deputies there to keep us all in check. Uncle Eddie had brought along a nice amount of booze, and any time someone would go out to his van to pour a drink, Eddie would approach the deputies and make small talk. I'm sure they knew what we were doing out there, but at least he prevented them from coming over and giving any of us a hard time.
Good speeches were made, and good times were had, and I slipped in some spilled wine and busted the hell out of my chin. Katie gave me some of her mom's pain relievers, and they ended my night real quick. (Nathaniel, I learned, saved me from Desmond drawing on my passed-out face.)
I woke up the next day and could hardly move. I faded in and out of sleep (which is weird; I usually cannot sleep after I've opened my eyes) and had no strength in my arms or legs. Whatever Sarah had that Katie gave me, it was good. Kate and John and I went to Arizona Mills, leaving Kate's boyfriend, Matt, behind with Nathaniel and his friends. I understand they gave him quite an interrogation in our absence, but that was nothing compared to what he and I got when we came back. After the Jets lost (yes, horrible, I know), most of Nate's friends left, and before long it was just Nate, Kate, Matt, me, and Nate's neighbor Kerry hanging out on the patio.
Nathaniel is a correctional officer, Commander of the SORT team at the nearby prison, and Kerry is a Canadian sheriff, so we got to sit around and listen to them swap stories about controlling inmates.
And then they decided to show us how to control inmates. Matt got to play guinea pig to various holds and strikes. He got pinned, he got shoved, and when they gave him a break (a rest, that is), I got to take the hits. Most of what I took were hits to my neck and my right arm (you know, so I understand how they disarm somebody who's attacking them), but they got Matt back up and showed him even more useful things, like how they kick someone's legs out from beneath them, and how they follow that up with an elbow to the face, and how they shove someone's nose into their brain. And how you can disable someone just by pushing on two pressure points just below the jaw. And how it really hurts when you lift someone by those pressure points.
And then the night got weird.
Nathaniel and I had bought cigars the day before, as we were running last-minute bridal errands. So we brought them out. Kerry seemed to really enjoy watching me smoke that cigar, and whenever I wasn't smoking it (which was often, considering I was hardly comfortable under his unblinking stare), he would say to me, "Smoke." Wha... what? "Smoke." Why...? "Smoke."
In mid-conversation, he stood up and interrupted Nate by kissing him on the cheek. While K, N & I were talking, Kerry walked Matt around the corner, appearing to want to tell him something in confidence... but he just grabbed Matt and kissed him on the cheek. He rubbed my thigh. He moved to put out a cigarette on Matt's ankle, but when Matt declined, Kerry put it out on his own ankle. He made a kiss-face at me. He had talked about his wife throughout the night, but wasn't wearing a ring. He talked about his roommate and him, talking about how they might appear to others as "kinda queer."
I don't know how anyone might get that impression....
But all-in-all, it was a wonderful weekend. The wedding was beautiful, and I can see that Nathaniel and Carmen are going to be very happy, and their kids are going to grow up well, and be really good kids, really good people. And I had a great time with a family I haven't gotten to see for a couple of years.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
DANIEL QUINN (finally)
I had a realization today about why I have a hard time keeping up with this (well, any) blog. I always try to tell a story. I want there to be an arc, and by the end I want the protagonist (i.e. me) to have learned something by the end.
Like with the Daniel Quinn post. It blossomed into this outline about inspiration, motivation, and validation.
Really, all I should have to say is, "I had the honor of treating Daniel Quinn and his wife to lunch today. It was really cool to sit around and casually visit with someone who has, through his writings, had such an impact on my life. I was, of course, ridiculously nervous, but felt better about ordering a glass of wine to calm my nerves after he ordered Scotch, and she ordered wine.
"Unfortunately, I have great difficulty starting a conversation. I got the impression that he does, too, because once Rennie proved to perfectly capable of it, he and I both took a back seat to her. (In fact, she pointed out that she should stop talking, as she had only eaten half her meal by the time we were finished.)
"We mostly chatted like friends, talking about places we'd been, and what we had been doing. Occasionally we would go into broader subjects (education, people in general), but I'm afraid to say I would shy away from going to far, as I was intimidated by the situation.
"We did talk about the Discovery Channel thing, and how strange it was that someone could resort to violence over what Quinn had said in any of his books.
"Rennie also brought up the Farm in Tennessee, having heard of it from Daniel's daughter. We also talked about the idea of 'The Project' that Scott & I talk about. The Quinns, who live in the center of Houston, agreed that they could never have done something like that.
"Shortly after we finished our meal, we parted ways. Daniel asked that I keep them updated on our progress. How cool is that?"
Look. I did it. How damn simple.
Despite the simplicity of the casual conversation, however, I learned a ton, and continue to learn, from the experience. I won't go into how right now, since this post would end up as just another draft.
Like with the Daniel Quinn post. It blossomed into this outline about inspiration, motivation, and validation.
Really, all I should have to say is, "I had the honor of treating Daniel Quinn and his wife to lunch today. It was really cool to sit around and casually visit with someone who has, through his writings, had such an impact on my life. I was, of course, ridiculously nervous, but felt better about ordering a glass of wine to calm my nerves after he ordered Scotch, and she ordered wine.
"Unfortunately, I have great difficulty starting a conversation. I got the impression that he does, too, because once Rennie proved to perfectly capable of it, he and I both took a back seat to her. (In fact, she pointed out that she should stop talking, as she had only eaten half her meal by the time we were finished.)
"We mostly chatted like friends, talking about places we'd been, and what we had been doing. Occasionally we would go into broader subjects (education, people in general), but I'm afraid to say I would shy away from going to far, as I was intimidated by the situation.
"We did talk about the Discovery Channel thing, and how strange it was that someone could resort to violence over what Quinn had said in any of his books.
"Rennie also brought up the Farm in Tennessee, having heard of it from Daniel's daughter. We also talked about the idea of 'The Project' that Scott & I talk about. The Quinns, who live in the center of Houston, agreed that they could never have done something like that.
"Shortly after we finished our meal, we parted ways. Daniel asked that I keep them updated on our progress. How cool is that?"
Look. I did it. How damn simple.
Despite the simplicity of the casual conversation, however, I learned a ton, and continue to learn, from the experience. I won't go into how right now, since this post would end up as just another draft.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
when and where
Here's the train schedule for my trip:
4:43, Temple, TX (currently ten minutes behind)
5:36 Taylor, TX
6:30 Austin, TX
7:12 San Marcos, TX
9:55 San Antonio, TX
5:40a departure
8:35 Del Rio, TX
11:10 Sanderson, TX
1:24p Alpine, TX
4:15-4:40 El Paso, TX
6:11 Deming, NM
7:06 Lordsburg, NM
9:11 Benson, AZ
10:40 Tucson, AZ
10:45 Surly Wench pub
4:43, Temple, TX (currently ten minutes behind)
5:36 Taylor, TX
6:30 Austin, TX
7:12 San Marcos, TX
9:55 San Antonio, TX
5:40a departure
8:35 Del Rio, TX
11:10 Sanderson, TX
1:24p Alpine, TX
4:15-4:40 El Paso, TX
6:11 Deming, NM
7:06 Lordsburg, NM
9:11 Benson, AZ
10:40 Tucson, AZ
10:45 Surly Wench pub
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011
... stay on target...
Hey! You know what's on the way? Some freaking blogs finally!
In the meantime, I cannot stop reading this blog, but one of the head soulpancakers. I'm going to make meeting her and/or her husband a priority when I get to Nashville.
In other news, I am entirely re-evaluating my life, which needed to happen.
In the meantime, I cannot stop reading this blog, but one of the head soulpancakers. I'm going to make meeting her and/or her husband a priority when I get to Nashville.
In other news, I am entirely re-evaluating my life, which needed to happen.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
"Never mistake motion for action." -EH
I last blogged in Hollywood? That was lifetimes ago! That's a weird thing: It was thirty days ago that I left Seattle, twenty-one days ago that I left San Francisco, seventeen days since I arrived in Temple, TX. In SF, I met tons of people, did tons of stuff (museums, parks, walks, beer, soulpancake, ALCATRAZ, beer, movies, food, phone calls, reading, libraries, friends, other people, beer, people, people, wine). My week there seemed like months. LA was uneventful, but it felt like I was there for more than a day. And then the train ride! It was amazing, and could have been months as well. Somehow, that was all jammed into thirteen days?
And then I got to Texas. Don't get me wrong: I am not disappointed by my time here. Getting to spend Christmas (and other days) with my mom, sister, and cousins was so great. I have been inactive, is all I'm saying. Since I've been here, I have watched three and a half seasons of The IT Crowd, several episodes of 24, Tron Legacy, Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man 2, The Last Airbender, Beetlejuice, Knight and Day, The Lightning Thief, Despicable Me, The King's Speech, The Town, Broadcast News, Inception, Superman, District 9, Final Fantasy: Advent Children, the first half of Dancer In the Dark, the last half of Edmond, and as much of Monster's Ball as I could take.
The thing about my life that frustrates me is how easily I give in to comfort and laziness. In Washington I had settled into this, just as I had for so long in Tennessee, just as I had begun to in Arizona. It would seem that being so very active in California would be a 'win,' and to sit and watch movies all day here in Texas a 'loss.' But I've found that to not be the case.
San Francisco was awesome, exciting, and exhausting. It was an adventure, and I learned a lot about myself through the experience of loss. I had lost my girlfriend, I left my home, I shed 80% of my belongings before leaving Seattle, and then even more before I left SF. I abandoned my favorite sweater and a beloved shirt there to make room in my pack, and that was just as hard to do as any of the other heart-wrenching things I had done the preceding weeks. This was definitely a win, to me.
But I don't think I've been lazy here, in spite of the slow pace. To quote Moss from The IT Crowd, "Every value I've ever held is being questioned, and I'm loving it."
For the past two years, I have been cocooned. Living in the liberal PNW, and communicating mostly with people like Scott and Leslie and Adrienne--that is, mostly with people who want to see some revolution happening, some change. I forgot how, back in summer 2007, the only people I had to relate to in this way were Scott and Jeremy. I forgot that I left Tennessee specifically to find other people "like us," to attempt to connect the common thread. At that so-very-recent point, we weren't even a minority. We were just a few uncommon people who felt better, and occasionally less crazy, for knowing each other. Surrounding myself with these people, I allowed myself to forget that really, that's all we still are.
Here in Texas, in my hometown, I can't forget that. I'm surrounded by my childhood. I'm staying four blocks from where I lived with my grandma. She and I used to walk around the nearby cemetery, and now I do again. I hung out around my first-grade classroom, and stood on some of the same old playground equipment. I had breakfast with Kyle and his family. There are pictures of Kyle and I in diapers, only a few months old. I really had a thing for his sister Dyan when I was, you know, seven. They both have kids. Dyan's second is due in March. Their parents, Kent and Marilyn, still live where Kyle and I used to play with the Atari 2600 and Legos.
I have to wonder: would I have learned to be myself, growing up here? Of course, there's no way to know. I wouldn't have had the same experiences, but would those type of experiences even have been possible here? Would I have ever questioned the school-college-job-family pattern? Are there people here that I could relate to, if they knew there was someone here who could relate to them? Could "the revolution" happen here?
Well sure. I even came across this guy, whose idea is similar to what I have in mind for my family's property in Dickson.
So even with relatively little going on (I have, by the way, been somewhat active), I would say there's a lot of action in my time here in Texas. I am growing while I am sitting. That's meditation, right?
But I am a bit ready to hit the road. I told Angela that I wish I could live two lives at once, because I do miss my life in Seattle. And now I wish I could live three, because I am really enjoying being around my family. But there's a big ol' silly world out there, and plenty of ways for me to further learn how I'm wrong about everything I think I know. Starting Thursday. (Be sure to check back to hear about my wild, life-changing next few days!)
And then I got to Texas. Don't get me wrong: I am not disappointed by my time here. Getting to spend Christmas (and other days) with my mom, sister, and cousins was so great. I have been inactive, is all I'm saying. Since I've been here, I have watched three and a half seasons of The IT Crowd, several episodes of 24, Tron Legacy, Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man 2, The Last Airbender, Beetlejuice, Knight and Day, The Lightning Thief, Despicable Me, The King's Speech, The Town, Broadcast News, Inception, Superman, District 9, Final Fantasy: Advent Children, the first half of Dancer In the Dark, the last half of Edmond, and as much of Monster's Ball as I could take.
The thing about my life that frustrates me is how easily I give in to comfort and laziness. In Washington I had settled into this, just as I had for so long in Tennessee, just as I had begun to in Arizona. It would seem that being so very active in California would be a 'win,' and to sit and watch movies all day here in Texas a 'loss.' But I've found that to not be the case.
San Francisco was awesome, exciting, and exhausting. It was an adventure, and I learned a lot about myself through the experience of loss. I had lost my girlfriend, I left my home, I shed 80% of my belongings before leaving Seattle, and then even more before I left SF. I abandoned my favorite sweater and a beloved shirt there to make room in my pack, and that was just as hard to do as any of the other heart-wrenching things I had done the preceding weeks. This was definitely a win, to me.
But I don't think I've been lazy here, in spite of the slow pace. To quote Moss from The IT Crowd, "Every value I've ever held is being questioned, and I'm loving it."
For the past two years, I have been cocooned. Living in the liberal PNW, and communicating mostly with people like Scott and Leslie and Adrienne--that is, mostly with people who want to see some revolution happening, some change. I forgot how, back in summer 2007, the only people I had to relate to in this way were Scott and Jeremy. I forgot that I left Tennessee specifically to find other people "like us," to attempt to connect the common thread. At that so-very-recent point, we weren't even a minority. We were just a few uncommon people who felt better, and occasionally less crazy, for knowing each other. Surrounding myself with these people, I allowed myself to forget that really, that's all we still are.
Here in Texas, in my hometown, I can't forget that. I'm surrounded by my childhood. I'm staying four blocks from where I lived with my grandma. She and I used to walk around the nearby cemetery, and now I do again. I hung out around my first-grade classroom, and stood on some of the same old playground equipment. I had breakfast with Kyle and his family. There are pictures of Kyle and I in diapers, only a few months old. I really had a thing for his sister Dyan when I was, you know, seven. They both have kids. Dyan's second is due in March. Their parents, Kent and Marilyn, still live where Kyle and I used to play with the Atari 2600 and Legos.
I have to wonder: would I have learned to be myself, growing up here? Of course, there's no way to know. I wouldn't have had the same experiences, but would those type of experiences even have been possible here? Would I have ever questioned the school-college-job-family pattern? Are there people here that I could relate to, if they knew there was someone here who could relate to them? Could "the revolution" happen here?
Well sure. I even came across this guy, whose idea is similar to what I have in mind for my family's property in Dickson.
So even with relatively little going on (I have, by the way, been somewhat active), I would say there's a lot of action in my time here in Texas. I am growing while I am sitting. That's meditation, right?
But I am a bit ready to hit the road. I told Angela that I wish I could live two lives at once, because I do miss my life in Seattle. And now I wish I could live three, because I am really enjoying being around my family. But there's a big ol' silly world out there, and plenty of ways for me to further learn how I'm wrong about everything I think I know. Starting Thursday. (Be sure to check back to hear about my wild, life-changing next few days!)
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