The Object of Success

I have long been convinced that one of the biggest differences between people is the perception of the object of success. Now, reading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, the subject is once again on my mind. In 2008, I moved to Seattle. I was in my early thirties at that point, and had lived in four states in the previous year. Washington was my fifth, and I planned to stay for four months before making California my sixth. I was going to be a monk. By comparison, Jenny was in her early twenties and, except for trips to Disneyland, she had never been far from Washington, and did not plan on that changing. She looked forward to being married and having children in the not-too-soon-but-not-too-distant future. We were an unlikely couple. Travel is not my passion. If it were, I would be writing from the road. But I love to travel. I like to see new places, meet new people, and do unusual things. Actually, what I love is gaining new perspectives. New people, places, and things provide them. Hiking up a mountain in a rainforest is a cool thing to say you've done, but slipping and falling, sliding downhill, and emerging from the canopy covered in mud and sweat is an experience that cannot be conveyed. It is the awe of life that I care to maintain. For that, discomfort is an acceptable concession. Travel is not Jenny's passion either. When she deplaned with me in Texas in June 2009, the instant sweat offended her. My father picked us up in a car with no AC, and when we stopped at the nearest air conditioned bar for a pitcher of beer, I half expected her to tell me she would just stay there for the week. But she was impressed by the attitudes of corner-shop cashiers ("They're so nice!"), surprised by political rhetoric ("that nigger..."), and when she saw a firefly for the first time... The look on her face was the revelation of magic in the world. She returned to Seattle with new perspectives. But she loathed the airport hassle on the way home. This is the significance of the object of success. It doesn't just impact what we choose to do. It determines how we feel about it. My Seattle days are behind me, but Jenny and I are still in touch. Yesterday, over the phone, she told me she is happiest when she is gardening. I told her she should quit her job. "I can't do that," she replied. "I have a 401K." She clearly has a model for success different from mine. I do not understand the motivation she gets from a retirement plan, but I do understand the way that life appears to chase after success like an apple chases the ground. Why would we go any other direction? How can we not? You can catch an apple mid-fall, but you cannot stop its inherent motivation in that direction. Success does not have actual physical properties. We each have a different object of success, and yet we take it largely for granted that we are all moving in the same direction. Sure, we understand that we have various goals; however, we are all moving toward The Future, and our concept of success is the very description of the future we are each moving toward, whether we make it or not. I have been told by Jenny and by many others that I am mistaken in my trajectory, that I will eventually get my head out of the clouds and accept the inevitable Future. I have said the same thing to those people and others. . .. ... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ... .. . Another example: Occupy Wall Street vs Occupy Nashville. Six months after the official start of the movement, Occupy Nashville is limping. I am encouraged by a point made at the last general assembly: the real work being done is not by the people coming by twice a week to talk about what we are doing; it is by the people who come by once a month to talk about what they've done. The Nashville movement is not dead. But when compared to the general assemblies of October and November, the current meetings are underwhelming, both in attendance and potency. On the other hand, Occupy Wall Street, the spark that lit so many short fuses last September, is still flourishing. (I started compiling a list to support this, but really you should just check out What the Fuck Has Occupy Done?) The significant factor is solidarity. What is solidarity but a shared object of success? We, as individuals, still have our own independent ideas for the future, but on the plaza, on the streets, we meet as Occupy Nashville with a shared intention. Well, we did. The power of the people is an incredible thing to witness, especially from within. Occupy Nashville was a great source of empowerment. In fact, people felt so empowered as to believe that their hopes and dreams were nearer than previously believed. Personal and organizational interests brought Occupy Nashville to its current, splintered state.* *This is not a bad thing. The successes that past and present ON contributors are working toward are simply outside of the scope of Occupy. Most of the people I have met through Occupy Nashville are working with great motivation toward both subtle and dramatic change.