Fast Unfolding

While visiting Wisconsin last summer, Sam Dodge told me I seemed haunted. And I was. John and Oshinn had moved on, the farm was out of my hands, and I was haunted by the ghost of the purpose that had fueled me for the two previous years. I was just coming to realize that the farm had gone the way of the boat, and that it was time for a new Rosewater vision.

In September I attended a six-day retreat which featured daily teachings from Thich Nhat Hanh. The idea of accepting his Five Mindfulness Trainings (a contemporary form of the Buddha's five precepts to become a monk) was presented early, and it took me days of consideration before I decided to accept them.
This retreat had upon me the same effect that I'd experienced after my time in the hospital in 2005--I had rediscovered my volition.

These days, not an hour goes by that I don't consider the teachings I encountered at Magnolia Grove in September. Even though my practice is built upon my own experiences rather than others' teachings (and this is something I sometimes struggle to remember), Thây provided a framework that I find infinitely useful for organizing how I think about my experiences.
I feel more excellent every day--even the bad days.

Also in Magnolia Grove, I had my first experience of Sangha. Through my studies of Buddhism I had a book-learnt appreciation for sangha, but no practical experience.
Sangha is the Sanskrit word for a community of practitioners. At the retreat, we would split into smaller groups of 15 or so people (determined by "family names" on our name tags--my family was "Timeless). We would sit in a circle with a nun. She would talk about a few things, introducing a topic, and we would each in turn share our thoughts on it.
This might not sound like much, but it was amazing.

I intended to join the sangha in Nashville after returning, but never quite got around to it.

Then Leslie visited in February, and asked me to join her at the meditation center where we used to go all those years ago. On Sundays, the Nashville Shambhala group meets there and, since Leslie is so richly involved in the Northern California Shambhala community, they were happy to turn part of the session over to her.
She led the group in social meditation--a form of meditation that is growing out of Boston Shambhala, and that is not very unlike what I experienced with Timeless in Magnolia Grove.

While socializing after the session, one of the coordinators said she would love to have a young meditators' group like Leslie has in San Francisco.
Leslie told her they should have me lead it. And from that moment on, that's been the plan.

Three weeks ago, I went to San Francisco for a summit of young meditator group leaders from around the world, and was introduced to the Ziji Collective. This is a collection of meditators (mostly involved in these young meditator groups) with an eye on social engagement. Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche came to speak to us, discussing the significance of the Ziji's work to the Shambhala vision of enlightened society, and then we spent several days in each others' company--socially, as well as in meditation and in workshops.
In such a community, I found it so easy to be open, both inwardly and outwardly. To share that with so many people for such a long period of time was incredible. Each connection was like those that I've reserved for the few people I've been "in love" with; the entire experience felt like falling in love again and again.
Leaving that could have been difficult, if it hadn't also fostered the intention to let go of attachments.

I was very excited to bring that back to Nashville, to my first group session the next week.
But then there was some discussion over the dates of our meeting. And then there was more discussion.

By this past Sunday, two long weeks (seriously? it felt like months) since returning from San Francisco, I felt the last of that energy slipping away as I walked up the stays to the Dharma Center. "Longing" was the word that kept coming up in conversations at the summit; this day the word I felt was "lament."
This stayed correcting itself right away, thigh, as I walked in the door. I walked right into a meeting determining the definite days for my group to meet (twice a month, rather than once!). And during the announcements at the end of the session, there was an exciting exchange.
One of our practitioners mentioned that she was going to Karme Choling in Vermont for level 2&3 training. Another mentioned that she had a friend in Boston Shambhala who would be assisting there. This friend from Boston had also been at the summit in San Francisco. BOOM. All the energy was reignited.

In the entrance room, there were six of us who stayed behind for conversation, already excited for the potential that the Ziji energy has in Nashville.

This is also the Rosewater energy.
I am very excited.